Saturday, May 2, 2009

Mid Life Crazy?

Just thought you might like to see a tiny sliver of what rolls around in my brain 24/7!

I need to blog but how will I explain the long break. I could make up an elaborate story...involving swine flu, little people and strange social disorder......or maybe a crazy month long vacation to a secluded spot where no internet was available.....or maybe I could tell them I was in one would believe that....or would they?? hahahaha or maybe just ignore the huge elephant in the room....what elephant?? I don't see anything!

Did I miss someone's birthday? I feel like I did...who the heck is it?

I wonder if my azaleas should be planted on the side of the house or in front? Oh what the poo....who cares, I most likely will kill them before anyone gets to see them!

The dogs have fleas again....crap! now we have to treat the yard. Why isn't that smelly stuff I put on their neck working? Do we have super fleas....killed them so many times they now have super mutant strength? It could happen!

Dang it! I HAVE GOT to balance the checkbook! Or I could just keep spending till the card is embarrassing moment ahead there?? naaah!

Oh pooodittle I don't have a stinkin clue what I am wearing to the banquet tomorrow night. Not that it matters...I am HUGE and might as well wear a tent! Hey, maybe I could bedazzle it? Ha! That would be some serious repurposing.......

The whole fam will be here next Saturday....I wonder if they will expect my house to be "spotless"? I mean, I just sit at home all day since I got layed off, right?.....

Speaking of next weekend....what AM I GONNA GIVE MY MOM?? I don't have a clue! I am sure an organized woman would already have this taken care of.

180 what??? Surely this freaking thing is broke!! Maybe if I hit it a few times and then try again??.....Hitting it sounds WAY to appealing at this very moment!

I thought I saw an old boyfriend today. I wanted to melt in to a puddle under the table!!! While I was hoping he wouldn't notice the "chubbed out" version of me I heard them call "order ready for Jim, order ready for Jim" I realized my old flames' name was NOT Jim!! Whew, that was close! Or maybe he saw me and said to his date....hey there's this girl over there and I really don't want to talk to sooo....just play along when they call me Jim, ok? Whoa, Paranoid much??

I wonder if Monica will sell me her treadmill?....I wonder if my fat a** will actually use "said" treadmill? Or will this one become a clothes hanger like the last one???

Oh MY Holy goodness... my brain won't freakin shut off! Is there a switch somewhere?? (actually I believe the magic switch does have a name....W-I-N-E)

Am I looosing it??? probably....Maybe this is my sick version of mid life crisis? More like MID LIFE CRAZY!

40 is coming....I don't want to talk about that! I SAID I DON'T want to talk about it! NO! I mean it!! ok.....fine.....8 months, 13 days and 2 hours until FREAKIN FORTY!! THERE! Now, can we not talk about it?? thank you

Did I download the pics from the camera? no....where the fudge did I put the download cord? Maybe if I would actually clean the house I would know where things were!

Speaking of house cleaning....I still need to do dishes.....why do I loath dishes soooo bad?

EWwww...Harley! did you just fart....ugggghhh!

Did the hubs just drive my car past empty so that I will have to put gas in it on my way out? THAT IS SOOOOO FREAKIN FRUSTRATING!

Did I leave a load of clothes in the washer? Oh, that's gonna smell nice and ripe by now!


I AM EXHAUSTED!! it any wonder??

Now that I have allowed you a peek into the psycho ramblings of my brain, what do you think? Normal? Freak of Nature?? Psycho? Mid Life Crazy?. Anyone who really knows me knows I am freaking nuts!!!

Goodnight all my sweet bloggie peeps.