Wednesday, February 11, 2009


I try very hard not to get “on my soapbox” about issues, as I feel my blog is not the appropriate place for that. I use this blog as a creative outlet, a place where people get excited about creating, decorating or just plain ole trying something new!! But, after hearing all of the hub bub about certain celebs and their domestic violence episodes of late, I MUST SAY SOMETHING!

The numbers are alarming. I heard this on the news last week:
Numbers from the State Attorney General's Office reveal that a third of Texas teens (did I hear that right....yes...teens) are abused in some way in their romantic relationships. The numbers also show that half of all reported date rapes involve teenagers, and nearly half of adult sex offenders say they committed their first offense before the age of 18.
It’s not just adults, it is our teens!!! This makes me want to cry.

I thought I would share with you a pretty good definition of abusive relationships from the National Domestic Violence Hotline

What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.
Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone.

You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:
• Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.
• Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive.
• Tries to isolate you from family or friends.
• Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with.
• Does not want you to work.
• Controls finances or refuses to share money.
• Punishes you by withholding affection.
• Expects you to ask permission.
• Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.
• Humiliates you in any way.
You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner has ever:
• Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, etc.).
• Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you.
• Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
• Scared you by driving recklessly.
• Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you.
• Forced you to leave your home.
• Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving.

(for the full list go to National Domestic Violence Hotline)

If you answered ‘yes’ to these questions you may be in an abusive relationship; please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) or your local domestic violence center to talk with someone about it.

Ladies....this issue is very dear to my heart....tears dropped from my eyes as I reviewed the list and had to say "yes" to more of them than I care to remember. When I was younger, I lived out this nightmare for myself. Please know that if this is is available! There is life after this....a happy, contented, full, joyful life!!!

If I am talking to's a few of my "quotes" that I held on to dearly while walking through this time in my life:

Jeremiah 29:11 (New King James Version)
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Isaiah 49:16 (Amplified Bible)
Behold, I have indelibly imprinted (tattooed a picture of) you on the palm of each of My hands; (My Daddy God has me always on his mind!...I AM worthy of THAT kind of unselfish, unconditional LOVE!)

and lastly, sometimes it takes the simplest of things to "hold on to" that really help us through;

Christopher Robin to Pooh Bear:

"You are braver than you believe.

You are stronger than you seem.

You are smarter than you think."

DO NOT.....I REPEAT DO NOT believe what you are being told!! Find that place deep down inside yourself that knows you deserve better than this and GET OUT!!!



Janene said...

I too share your strong opinion on this subject!
I worry constantly...especially since I have 6 girls!
I tell them all the time what was posted in this blog!
Just wanted you to know that I am by your side on your soapbox with this one!

mishebe said...

I agree... mishelle

misscassiecass said...

I believe educating teens on abuse is the best way to help. I myself was in an abusive relationship in high school and didnt realize it until adulthood. Teens are going through so many tremendous changes. Sometimes they don't know how to properly deal with thier anger and either sides are just experiencing romantic relationships for the first time. I believe its about educating our young ones about having healthy relationships and giving them tools for building self esteem.

Brenda said...

I'm so thankful that I'm not in that kind of relationship but I do know people who have been, my sister being one. I was so happy when she finally stood up and said 'enough is enough' and is happily remarried to a jewel of a guy.
Thanks for voicing this. If what you said gives courage to even one person than it was well worth it.